Johnny Chopsocky's Interweb Musings

Metalocalpyse is awesome

2009-11-28T22:23:25Z

Seriously, I'd totally install that lighting system if I had the money.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

2009-10-31T20:56:47Z

For your Halloween present, I present to you the dancing pumpkin viral video

This holds a special place in my heart because I helped film it three years ago for the now-defunct KXVO 10 o'clock "News" (in quotes because it wasn't so much news as it was a ~~dodgeball cannon~~ humorous variety show. While I didn't film the dancing segment, I was running the studio cameras for the live bits of the broadcast (ie the weather guy meets torsoless anchor part at the end).

So yeah, I'm randomly a part of a viral video. Yay me.

Also, Borderlands is fucking amazing. I have a shotgun that shoots rockets. A SHOTGUN. THAT SHOOTS ROCKETS. Last time I had one of those was when I dicked around in Marathon Infinity and tried to make guns that would crash my computer.

One word to sum up Brutal Legend:

2009-10-19T06:20:17Z

"DECAPITAYSHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"

Shorter game than I had hoped, ended too quickly, but awesome throughout.

"I set a trap and you sprung it GLORIOUSLY!"

2009-08-27T07:35:23Z

Batman knows that the only REAL way to successfully treat insanity is through the constant and careful application of HORRIFIC CONCUSSIONS. Jesus Christ, dude's got a giant plate filled with asses and he's just ready and rarin' to hand them to their previous owners. Usually I have to re-read Seanbaby's '10 MMA Ragdoll Moments' to see fist-based destruction THIS horrific.

Instead of watching the GI Joe movie...

2009-08-12T07:23:35Z

... you should just watch this instead. It's much better.

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Hey Zombieland! Sell me on your movie! (NSFW Redband trailer)

2009-08-06T22:10:14Z

Sold.

Also: RIP John Hughes. I'm going to go watch Planes, Trains and Automobiles again now...

Spreading the GOOD WORD

2009-07-26T18:13:56Z

And that word is 'Spaced'. And there's another GOOD WORD, and that word is 'Hulu'.

Yes, 'Spaced' is now on Hulu. It is now free to watch for all Americans, of which far too many have NOT seen it. Rectify that error, man!

Best crossover idea EVER?

2009-07-22T03:37:03Z

I'd say yes. A thousand times yes.

Amen hallelujah peanut butter

2009-07-18T18:39:00Z

NEW BLACK LAGOON FUCK YEAH

Oh wait, what's this in the article?

"Update 2: The first two anime series will be re-issued on Blu-ray Disc in full high-definition. The Blu-ray Discs' original special video supplements will feature the anime adaptations of omake extra manga shorts from the end of the manga's compiled book volumes."

Oh fuck me now I'm gonna have to buy the series all over again

Oh hey look, the Emmy noms are out

2009-07-16T19:01:26Z

www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/TV/07/16/emmy.nominations/index.html

And what's this I'm reading here? "Another show ending a stellar run, 'The Shield,' was shut out entirely."

Fuck you, Emmys. Fuck you forever and ever with a splintered 2x4 studded with rusty nails.

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY, EVERYBODY

2009-07-04T16:46:07Z

SING ALONG!

The word for today is "johnny"

2009-06-23T21:23:57Z

So yeah, Eden of the East is pretty damn good. Only problem is I'm going to have a hard time waiting for the movies to see how this whole thing wraps up.

Also, the Whipfist is godly. Prototype gets more fun the farther you get into the game, which is a welcome addition from games that seem to blow their wad too early.

...What, you thought I was gonna talk about how I'm watching too much One Piece again?

.....

SO MUCH ONE PIECE

There's another bit of credit I'll give to the show: in this age of arguments between slow-moving zombies and running zombies, One Piece successfully bypasses the whole argument.

With dancing zombies.

Yo ho ho he ate a bit of Gum-Gum

2009-06-15T04:27:19Z

Yep, definitely watching too much One Piece.

In other news, Prototype has me in your cities, consuming ur mans.

This boat is real

2009-06-13T05:20:32Z

Have I been watching too much One Piece?

Why yes. Yes I have.

Best pitchmen ever

2009-05-18T07:09:36Z

Heavy Weapons Guy

Scout

Crank 2 is completely ridiculous

2009-04-19T02:54:07Z

Crank 2.

Oh my Jesus, just... Crank 2.

This is the most delirious movie I've ever seen. It is the fevered dreams of a 12 year-old hopped up on Red Bull, Monster, Powerthirst and crystal meth. This movie hates continuity, coherence and morals. It hates them and fucks them all to death with a flying horsecock. This is a movie so over the top that it has no idea what the top looked like as it passed it.

If this movie had a physical form, that form would fuck a Humvee until it exploded. And then a Dragonforce solo would play from the heavens.

If my mouth hadn't been agape the entire time, I would've been smiling wide.

I hereby join Patton Oswalt in his man-crush for Jason Statham.

I'll miss you, Grandpa

2009-04-12T22:47:35Z

My grandfather died at 7am this morning.

I knew it was coming. We all did. My mom (his daughter) and grandma (his wife going on 60 years) are taking it hardest. Me? I think I'm actually more sad for the grief my mom and grandma are feeling than I am for his passing.

In a twisted way, I'm almost relieved. After watching my grandpa die in slow-motion over the last two years, after watching the big jovial bear of a man with the booming laugh and the sharp wit be reduced to a shell of himself by senility, health problems and pain... I'm almost glad that death finally came for him before any more of who he was got stripped away.

I'll miss you, grandpa. But then, I may have been missing you already...

Oh, MEGA 64.....

2009-03-30T17:13:57Z

ZOMBIES NO LONGER IN THE ROOM! YOU PRESSED "A"!

2009-03-26T09:20:52Z

I would just like to mention that Chris Redfield first unlockable outfit is quite possibly the douchiest thing I've ever seen. Wearing it makes me want to go around in the game saying "YOU BETTA ASK SOMEBOOOOODDDDDAYYYYY!" and "Huh? What? Huh? FUCK YOU!" while shooting zombies with my super-powered sniper rifle.

This post is brought to you by MC Chris and CAPS LOCK

2009-03-14T09:02:26Z

ZOMBIES IN THE ROOM! HIS MACHETE IS ON FIRE!

PRESS "X"! NO, NO, THE LITTLE BLUE BUTTON ON THE LEFT. YEAH, THAT "X"!

OH SHIT HE GOT A CHAINSAW! WHY'S YOUR PARTNER AIMING AT THE WALL?! HE'S GONNA CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF!

OH NO NOW YOUR PARTNER IS OUT OF AMMO AND DYING BECAUSE THEY SHOT ALL OF IT INTO THE WALL AND PUT THE LAST BULLET INTO THE EXPLODING BARREL NEXT TO THEM! AND NOW YOUR HEAD'S CHOPPED OFF! JUMP, GYPSY, JUMP!

RIDDLE TIME!!!!!!1

2009-03-11T04:49:17Z

Dear Livejournal:

I have a riddle for you. A conundrum, if you will.

Question: What's more annoying than your company, as a token of holiday gratitude, giving you some Scratch Lotto tickets instead of the $25 gift card to a restaurant they said they'd give you?

Answer: When one of the Scratch Lotto tickets turns out to be a winner for $12, and then turns out to be expired because your company waited two months to give the damn thing to you.

Thank god I hadn't won the $1,000 top prize on that expired ticket, because my reaction would not be the annoyance I'm feeling right now and would instead be HOMICIDAL RAGE.

Holy references, Batman!

2009-02-24T05:38:00Z

Why can't teams I like have guys like that on the radio?

Oh, Xbox Live...

2009-02-22T06:09:15Z

Family Guy is rather timely...

2009-02-16T06:38:26Z

Oh so classy

MY EARS! MY POOR RAPED EARS!

2009-02-05T05:48:59Z

The following is the worst song ever recorded. It is not just annoying bullshit; it is ear-fuckery. Music is dead now because this song exists.

Fuck this band. Fuck this song. Fuck whoever wrote it. Fuck the singer. Fuck the screaming fucker. Fuck whoever shot the video. Fuck whoever directed the video. Fuck whoever found these shitheels and let them rape ears outside of their city. Fuck the city they came from. Fuck the car they ride in. Fuck the band's parents for birthing these assholes. Fuck anyone who appears in this video.

And finally, fuck anyone who likes this song. Anyone who likes this song is a stupid child that likes terrible things and their opinion should be voided from existance forever.